Cal Edison is blacking out the power up here today. They are so kind. They even send a voicemail message to remind us we will be up here in 89 degrees without so much as a fan.

So here am I at 6:38 happily typing away. It is cool. There are crickets. There is a subtle hum from the 210 6 miles away. There is jasmine on the breeze coming into the window.

I noticed that the end result of all that tapping was a settling down. Less mind chatter as Guruji Trivedi would say.

But if I would be honest I still replay the "what if" of Rob's death.

What if I had bypassed Lisa and gotten a master blessing. What if the bitch had never been found? What if it had been me that had the decision to make.

Rob would be alive I like to think. Maybe I am just going on hoping but I still believe Guruji could have done something.

But that did not happen and the sadness lingers on.

People die. The memory doesn't.  And the truth of the lines" Of all the words of mice and men the saddest are "it might have been."

So  I give myself a little moment of "it might have been" today.

Today I guess I get to be human.

Ex Mea Manua
In Tua Manua, Dea Eterna