Mirror Mirror

Last night as I was wandering around feeling a bit dragged and unfocused I got this call. The Boss was calling at 8:00pm.

Interesting, thought I. She has no boundaries of her own on time therefore no one else does.

She was also on her horse about getting 40 hours for her money, as if she isn't getting enough value. After two days. I pointed this out to her kindly as I recall.

Now I remember why I don't like working for other people. There is a universal Corporate America Viewpoint that human beings can be quantified in terms of dollars per hour.

This keeps coming up...people in my life measuring me by money not value.

Mirror, mirror, on the wall,have I been doing this same thing at all?

Oh, Yeah.

I have. I have been all over my case about my valueless life as there is not a whit of money or material possession to show for it. Even now the grief is coming.

And it is not just happening to me. Mr.Trivedi spoke of a woman who expected her criminal son to get off after buying a blessing for the boy for $150. A miracle for $150. And she had the audacity to be mad when he went to jail. The energy knew what he needed and he got jail. I suspect being away from his mother will help too.

The point is this crap of devaluing human life in comparison to money is everywhere.

Please if you will, say I, so I can be holier then thou, put a dollar amount on the life of Gandhi, or Christ, or Mohammed. Not particularly stinking rich any of them now, true?

That is my big justifier and how I get to be right for being of no worth. But the no worth carries beyond the money.

I am hurting right now but grateful that this is coming up. It's the place the death wish lives. Why go on living if your life is of no value. If someone tries to tell me how valuable I am and what I could do if I step into my power they resonate as a con artist.And I will project my self hate as suspicion of them and their motives. Poor Eric and Jarris.

I know I am worthless and undeserving. And that is how the world responds to me.

Well there it is again. This one doesn't diminish. I have tapped on this and tapped on it. Trivedi dug it out again. This is the answer to the obsessing about Rob's sister trying to buy a house slave to do the dirty work.And she gets what she wants because I am it.

The doormat, the garbage that gets kicked in the corner and left to rot by everyone since I do that to myself.

Here comes the pain again, falling on my face like a memory, falling on my face like a new emotion.

I see my shadow all over Waste Less Living. The braggart who produces nothing. The woman who is too into her Feelings to get anything done.

Whoo boy.

Time out for tapping on "It's impossible to love myself,I have never been any thing of any value to anyone" This pulled some energy out of many previous tappings including the energy my mother put on me and all my sisters that she wished she had never had any of us, the societal contempt of females that was running rampant in the Church and being bought as a piece of property for 750 a month or 600 a week as the case may be.

Thank you Mirror. That really helped. Another key from under the curtain.

Ex Mea Manua InTua Manua